This roast is for people who wake up confused and stay that way. Barely Functioning Blend is mellow, a little sweet, and just caffeinated enough to trick your brain into participating in society.
With subtle citrus and melon notes (yeah, we said melon), and a whisper of cocoa, this smooth South American roast has enough clarity to get you to your second cup—barely. It’s the dependable daily brew for anyone who doesn’t want to be awake but also doesn’t want to get fired.
Best for pour-over, Aeropress, or just collapsing over your kitchen counter.
Details:
12oz (340g) bag of real-life coping mechanism
Light-medium roast with mellow body and subtle sweetness
Flavor notes: cooked honeydew, cocoa, citrus
Grown in South America, roasted in the USA
Whole bean or ground (your call, zombie)
Small-batch roasted by people who drink more coffee than you
